Sunday, March 6, 2011

Them - Us

A little earlier tonight, after I had put Nolan to bed for the night, my mom came out to ask me if he was asleep and I answered - "Yeah, I put them to bed. Um, him, I put him to bed."
She had came out to check on me again because when she had checked on me earlier I was crying my eyes out as I was holding Nolan. I had flashed back on the last kisses I had given Eli on the morning he died. As I remembered kissing Eli's little forehead and his little nose the tears came. I still find myself referring to Nolan as two people sometimes, he and his brother all wrapped into one little boy....

Six months ago tonight it was them, the two of them, the three of us. Eli was still alive and I was still in the hospital healing from my c-section. Six months ago tomorrow was the first time I held Eli. They are interwoven together with me. I don't know how I would have been able to be a single mom with twin infant boys but I wish that I had been given the opportunity to find out.

1 comment:

  1. I wish I had some magical words of wisdom. The best I can do is say I love you three and I miss Eli too. It's a blessing watching Nolan grow and develop.
    Uncle John